[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons
[30.0s] called petrified yeah i'm gonna stab it in the butt right in the butt you see down in the mist
[37.1s] a crystallizing diamond form as he is stomping on your friend donnie's gonna do his fire weapon
[44.6s] it doesn't see it coming it just goes straight up his butthole oh jeez jesus oh boy yeah i'm
[50.4s] in a wild shape into a winter wolf i yell guys a door Flamikins kins yells a window i'm gonna
[56.3s] disengage in a bucket over to that opening with my diamond in my hand yeah essentially i'm going
[61.7s] to stand in the way as if there was a door there that might try to close and i'm at the
[66.2s] supermarket and it's not going to be able to close because i'm in the sensor and as you
[70.1s] continue down the path you turn and see that the gorgon stops at the passageway that is
[76.1s] created and kind of steps back and tips his hat because he was wearing a hat that we
[80.6s] didn't say after a short while you enter back into the sundial room i see why sundials are no
[87.7s] longer in favor welcome to Dumbgeons and dragons we are a dnd fifth edition actual play podcast
[94.6s] and i'm your dungeon master rust more and with me today is carla johnson hey i am carla johnson
[100.7s] i play Nulara moonbrook and amy more yeah i am i play thea amistacia and flint
[107.6s] nope tom laird that's me i play flint Firebeard i made that mistake in a while all right uh hi
[117.7s] guys how's it going good it's going real good you can also find us on Patreon Patreon.com
[122.7s] dumb dragon cast where uh if you uh choose to join us in that community just know that uh
[128.5s] your money's going towards making this podcast uh better with each episode is what it really
[133.4s] that's true i haven't seen any of those dollars it all goes towards stuff and i'm like where's my
[139.1s] new iphone have a new chair so that i'm not sitting on something hard and rust is all like
[145.3s] iphone no chair maybe we'll see microphone for tom yes microphone for tom yes mic stand and
[153.8s] and hooky thing for carla yes yep uh going to podcon 2 yeah yeah all these great things
[162.6s] and so much more could be could be yours i'm just kidding on the price is right yeah we would never
[168.7s] use your money for things like iphones and shit that's super dishonest and we are i'm a samsung
[174.2s] guy myself so not when you can sign up for a two-year plan and get a free phone yeah right
[179.2s] come on visit phoneprovider.com for details we'll go to provider.com just sub in that
[186.2s] new sponsor we get yep i've got i've got like three weeks to figure it out so yeah fuck it
[193.2s] let's play dnd previously you fought a gorgon multiple times or multiple gorgons as tom would
[200.2s] say lots of butt stuff there was so much butt stuff you're back in the sundial room and the
[206.6s] shadows are still pointed at all of the individual exits hey you guys we have three
[211.6s] of these stupid stones and by three i mean six i'm very distraught let's find one more and get
[218.7s] the fuck out of here agreed why do we think there's one more because there are seven exits
[225.3s] and there are i'm assuming there are seven stones isn't there technically eight exits
[231.1s] i mean we count the bullshit sundial hole motherfucker that makes well then then
[236.0s] there's even nine there's nine god damn it i don't know why i thought there was
[242.2s] oh can i have a nap oh wait we have seven how long have we been in here yes no we have
[247.8s] seven we need eight we have a garnet a topaz a pearl a jade a bloodstone and now a diamond
[252.4s] we have seven we need one more because there are eight exits let's just get it and then
[258.2s] i get growly as you as you're getting growly and talking about how you want to find all
[264.7s] these stones you notice flame begins and she goes and sits down and kind of leans up against the
[269.1s] hedge and you continue talking there for a little while and then you look back and she's
[272.7s] disappeared told her not to wander off okay thought you had that leash on her like those
[278.6s] moms and malls have for their kids i find leashes offensive at this moment i don't know
[284.6s] why should probably uh go over to where flamma kynce was last seen and poke around see what's
[291.3s] over there i go and i sniff can i smell her sure you can everybody make an investigation roll
[299.4s] okay shit 17 plus 15 i don't think i have investigation but i have keen hearing and smell
[308.3s] 21 so i have advantage on perception checks that rely on hearing or smell
[313.8s] yeah the 17 is better that's fine um yeah so you you're all looking around where she and
[319.8s] you're kind of peeking down mate seeing if she went down one of the corridors um and one of you
[327.4s] flint kind of leans up against the hedge and falls through back and flint where he you saw
[336.6s] him he was examining the end of kind of the between two he's disappeared um do we see the
[346.1s] hedges move at all or was he just here one day the hedges don't appear to be moving but that's
[352.5s] where he was standing i think it's like the stupid sundial it's another one of those
[357.4s] fucking portal gate stupid shit i go i go in yeah me too because i poke my head the only
[366.5s] thing i want less than being in this room is uh being without my friends okay so everybody
[373.8s] walks through the hedge flamey kins is the first to go through and she's trying to get her
[378.6s] her bearings and then flint comes through behind her and what you see flint as you and
[383.0s] flamey kins are looking around but first do you say anything i guess as i fall into the
[387.9s] room so you emerge uh within sight of a circle at the foot of the tower the body of
[400.3s] a dead cultist lies sprawled on the ground and you can assume it's the one that iskander threw
[405.5s] off the balcony earlier and beside you you see a straight path that leads directly to
[413.2s] the sundial intersection another path extends 30 yards beyond the sundial ending at the exit
[420.5s] to the village and then after you're kind of looking around seeing that everybody else
[424.6s] piles through and you are all examining the area oh my god you guys we made it
[433.0s] isn't there supposed to be was it was it an hourglass some kind of thing to like teleport
[439.2s] us or something it was something well didn't iskander say he was going to meet us at the
[443.9s] bottom he was going to leave something for us so we could transport in somewhere let me
[448.8s] just check my notes from 2015 when we weren't in the base
[455.0s] so you guys have been in here for like honestly like max 30 minutes
[458.9s] well like really good an eternity it feels like oh i found it heroes look for me beneath
[464.6s] the tower it's an hourglass i was right also white hourglass it will allow us to teleport
[469.4s] into the dungeon so beneath the tower so we have to go into the basement i believe
[475.5s] we're supposed to teleport in i assume that hourglass will teleport us to the dungeon where
[480.4s] he will be let's look for this hourglass everybody give me an investigation roll
[489.2s] that is got a 17 17 for that is 10 14 14 okay so 17 was not as good as 17 okay fair enough
[499.5s] you're looking around the tower and it is just that there's a tower and then
[503.4s] it's encircled by the maze and then like i mentioned there was a path that leads to
[507.0s] the sundial room and then has a direct exit outside the maze that you can see
[512.2s] after some looking around that is speaks up and he says this circle here and he points to the
[518.2s] circle at the base of the tower and he says i'm pretty sure it might be a teleportation
[523.7s] circle to get us in there because there's no doors and no stairs and no foreseeable way in
[529.8s] in well how do we use it well if uh if you stand in it how big is the circle
[538.4s] it seems to be large enough that everybody could stand in it that was my question all right
[542.7s] peeps let's gather in gather around come on should we all step in at the same time is
[548.0s] this what he meant by the hourglass he was supposed to leave for us he you know he held
[554.0s] up something i mean i have hourglass written down i think he has the hourglass but i think we need
[561.3s] to find him at the base of the tower and he will teleport us with his special hourglass
[567.5s] up to the top of the tower where the mask is no because he had the mask in his hand
[573.4s] so he was on the balcony so hold on here is what he said heroes they saw you in the village
[579.3s] i've taken the mask but they'll realize it's missing within minutes look for me beneath the
[584.3s] tower for it's the only place i have a chance to hide this is the key that will teleport you
[590.2s] into the dungeon as he speaks the figure holds aloft a short sec or a second item some sort
[595.7s] of white Glimering hourglass i will leave it behind after i use it but others may find it
[601.7s] before you do oh so it's at the top of the tower where he was maybe or maybe it's not
[608.6s] because some other like cleaning lady found it dorothean is cleaning up she does a good job
[616.9s] she put it with the others and did it with the other knickknacks okay sorry i was under the
[621.8s] impression he left it like outside on the grounds but apparently that is not the case
[627.5s] he may have but others may have gotten to it first maybe that's what this
[632.2s] circle i say we just go into the circle let's just see what fucking happens do it i agree
[636.6s] i'm just so happy to be away from where we've been this whole time new welcome to the murder
[641.8s] circle wait how's everyone feeling before we do that anybody need to like take a little potion
[646.2s] potion or how we doing can i have more than 75 hit points no okay then i am at full capacity
[654.8s] for my wolfy self i'm a little bit hurt but i can manage for the time being yeah i think
[659.5s] i am too i'm fine i'm not excellente but i'm pretty okay just thought i checked before
[666.1s] we entered the enemy's tower with no escape route you all begin to walk into the circle
[672.9s] and as each of you steps kind of both feet into the circle you are teleported into another room
[680.2s] what seems to be an interior to the tower now the exterior of the tower appears square
[687.8s] this room appears cylindrical the walls of this chamber bear exotic geometric designs
[695.2s] representing feathers eagles and snakes all rendered in a style you've never seen before
[701.6s] to one side of the room a human female is sprawled face down in a pool of blood
[706.8s] she is dressed like a high ranking member of the cult of the dragon in the room you stand
[714.4s] in what looks to be a another teleportation circle there are two balconies set eight feet
[724.6s] above the floor and can easily be reached by climbing but no no doors no doors okay no stairs
[733.3s] no nothing so just another teleportation circle um everybody may or those that
[739.1s] uh feel like they're looking around make an investigation check i will investigate crit fail
[747.6s] six 15 15 you notice behind the teleportation circle itself symbols on the wall you examine
[758.7s] them and you see the symbol of a chair you see the symbol of two chairs you see an upside down
[767.5s] l a rectangle a flame a star a square an hourglass and a right triangle
[780.6s] because if it's not a right angle it's a wrong angle
[788.8s] uh so that hourglass looks fun you don't see shit what are you talking about
[794.1s] oh yeah no i've been rendered blind after the critical fail
[800.0s] that is what happens he's like a perception check in shock and awe at this dead lady in
[805.0s] cultist robes that he just can't take any anymore oh my god he's never seen death like that
[809.5s] before yeah no all my time as a soldier never once given let's let's say that you are in
[815.8s] fact investigate which is why your investigation for this was so bad you're investigating the
[819.5s] body so give me an investigation or a medicine check rather investigation all right that's a plus
[829.9s] two so that's a 17 you're examining the body as everybody else is kind of tickling tickling
[839.0s] taking a look around the room um and you can tell that the the cult member was killed by
[846.6s] what looks like a dragon tooth dagger so i i relay that information to uh my friends and say i uh
[855.6s] i think this this lady got killed by a dragon tooth dagger brutal you know dragon tooth daggers
[862.6s] to be a chosen weapon of certain cult members you heard him hey look hey look hey look at
[869.8s] these these pictures on the walls look at these symbols i like to sit i like to sit a lot
[875.1s] i like to have upside down letters um long square ouchy stuff sparkly in the sky we have
[885.4s] square and what looks like an hourglass and a three-sided square so are they are they buttons
[895.6s] kit is this like an elevator can we just press a button can we can we touch one
[899.9s] i can't i have paws somebody else touch one hey Nulara come on over here can you touch
[904.8s] the hourglass one lame okay first lay me out the room where is everybody standing
[910.7s] in front of these symbols everybody is standing in front of this no i only speak for me okay
[915.7s] i am also in front of the symbols and i speak for Nulara i was close to the body but now
[922.2s] i'm back towards them okay we'll say that you're all in front of the symbols well
[926.8s] because i said hey guys come and look at these symbols i assume they were like they were
[930.8s] like fuck off via we should have with your goddamn symbols all right i'm just checking
[936.3s] you touch sorry the hourglass is that what you said yep yeah you feel a wave of energy
[941.1s] course through you but nothing happens does she do it again and again because it felt so good
[947.3s] it felt so good let's uh let's get back on that teleportation pad you're on the
[955.4s] oh we're on it oh yeah this this is like so the teleportation bat is like up against the
[960.1s] wall and these are within the teleportation pad ah okay but there is another teleportation pad
[966.6s] right there is oh just the one there's the one you only see the one in the room can donnie
[972.6s] fly up and like look and see if there's anything up on those balconies sure yep he
[980.2s] flies up it gives a quick examine to both of them he's like uh yeah guys it looks like there's
[984.9s] those symbols there there's there's some up here too oh maybe we have to all touch one
[995.3s] what are is it the same ones in the same order up on the balconies yeah yeah you got
[1001.8s] a you got a chair you got two chairs you got an upside down l because i know the alphabet
[1007.8s] of course he does you got a rectangle a flame a star a square an hourglass a right triangle yeah
[1012.4s] check some yeah that's what i said yeah i'm just running through making sure you know like check
[1017.2s] check this is what i got check well that was my idea when i mean we can touch something all
[1023.1s] right let's touch something yeah let's let's just play the cancers yeah which one of these
[1032.8s] is there's probably the two chairs that's we'll see all right what are we touching are we touching
[1039.4s] the hourglass again well if donnie can go up to one who else has good climbing skills who can
[1047.6s] go up and touch the other one because there's two balconies right anybody can climb it's the eight
[1051.2s] feet above i can't fair anybody probably got fairly good vert as a winter wolf but
[1062.1s] uh are you thinking we'll touch all three at the same time and see if that works
[1067.5s] yeah okay i'll climb up on a balcony
[1073.6s] touching the hourglass again or what do you guys think yeah let's uh let's have donnie
[1078.9s] count us down and we'll touch it yeah uh three seven four well he knows his alphabet
[1086.1s] but not his numbers he's still learning 12 push it we push it push it real good everybody
[1094.9s] pushes the hourglass and those that are pushing it everybody feels a course of energy come in
[1101.8s] and through their arm and nothing happens okay i'm gonna climb down and i'm going to
[1111.8s] no didn't he say that was a key like the hourglass was a key like maybe it's like locked
[1119.5s] maybe we should try something different is there any place to put any of these stones
[1124.5s] oh no no no just straight up no okay sorry it's key we've been collecting them i don't know um
[1134.4s] um okay uh this feels like an inefficient way of doing this but and also gross and dirty
[1143.0s] but i get some blood on my finger from the pool of blood and then i touch the thing to see if
[1147.5s] that like activates it somehow you touch the hourglass again yeah you feel again the course of
[1153.4s] energy and nothing happens touch the different one bossy okay i'm gonna touch this i'm just
[1161.4s] kidding i'm totally just kidding okay i'm gonna touch the chair you touch the chair the single
[1166.7s] chair single chair you feel a course of energy and a white light and it dissipates quickly
[1175.8s] and you're in the room that you were in before okay i'm gonna touch the one with two chairs
[1182.6s] which chair are you touching the chair on the right you touch the chair on your right
[1188.2s] and everybody in the teleportation circle sees that white light
[1192.4s] and is transported up to the balcony to the right
[1197.0s] okay okay well i'm gonna touch the one chair again take us back down to the main room
[1202.8s] just for fun just kicks we're just moving around i assume that's what happens
[1207.0s] yeah you go back down to the the main area of this of this audience chamber okay
[1214.7s] so what do we think the basement may be fire no the triangle
[1223.5s] oh i don't know because it's the base maybe that seems reasonable because it's the last
[1227.6s] i feel like star's gonna be some sort of fucking astronomy chamber i don't know yeah the
[1232.7s] observatory so i would say square because we want to go to the dungeon and that's like
[1238.8s] cell-like or the triangle let's try the square first
[1245.8s] hold on is everyone in the teleportation we're not leaving like donnie behind
[1250.1s] up in a balcony are we donnie get down here down touch the square you see the bright
[1257.1s] white light and it flashes and dissipates you are transported to a different chamber
[1266.9s] a presently empty chamber which might have been luxurious before being subjected to the
[1275.4s] ravages of time a table assembled from small planks laid across barrels is covered in notes
[1281.6s] and scrolls otherwise it is a fairly empty room i pad over to the notes and scrolls and i
[1289.7s] nudge them with my nose and they go guys i can't read as a wolf it's very embarrassing for me
[1300.1s] are these important uh let's have a look like like what if they're plans i don't know i'm
[1305.3s] gonna look at the notes okay so flint you come over and you skim through the notes there
[1309.5s] and they're all written most of them are written in common but they all seem to be
[1312.6s] pertaining to uh draculiches and as you kind of read through you see no real bearing
[1321.1s] to the to the current crisis at hand uh just a bunch of notes about draculiches guys i don't
[1328.5s] think they're too helpful for us right now uh can you grab a few and put them in my
[1332.7s] in my little wolfie satchel yep and i do that and you hear the crinkling of paper
[1339.4s] okay so you you do that what do you do now okay you guys get back on this circle and
[1344.5s] let's let's try another one get back in there should we try the hourglass now since we're in a
[1349.8s] different place maybe uh maybe but we're trying to get to the dungeon right i think we were
[1354.0s] all thinking hourglass because he said that was like what we were looking for but he was
[1359.0s] holding a thing aloft so how could that be taking us to there was he holding the mask
[1365.5s] know what i mean well it was the mask and then he had another item in his hand as well
[1371.1s] i know we just heard words that were the same word so got really excited and started
[1375.0s] trying to go to that place but it's fair but he also said someone else could have taken it
[1381.3s] because didn't he leave it for us and it wasn't left for us so this is true i think
[1387.0s] we may have to go the long way well with russ in charge i would not expect anything
[1392.3s] oh we're definitely going to be in this tower for like three to six months yeah prepare yourself
[1397.4s] listener in earth time in game it'll be like 25 minutes this is where we live now we're weekly
[1403.3s] now i tried to speed it up by making this weekly right um let's go to the triangle okay
[1410.5s] i press the triangle we're all back on the thing i press the triangle you see the bright
[1414.8s] white light flash and you are back in the sundial room oh no you look down one way and you see an
[1423.5s] exit to the city and you look down another way and you see an end or an exit or entrance to
[1430.1s] the tower son of a what can we sprint to the tower you guys let's go let's all run together
[1437.0s] let's just run together i agree okay i just want to hold hands and run yeah do we make it to
[1443.4s] the tower yeah oh thank god okay i know let's get back inside the circle so now that we
[1449.4s] never press that button again do we see the buttons there are no buttons on the outside
[1454.7s] okay well we'll just fucking stand on it and go back to one chair two chair room red chair
[1461.4s] blue chair you step back into the room you find yourself back in the room with the with
[1466.3s] the dead cult oh you know what maybe they torture them in the dungeon let's let's go to the fire
[1475.8s] button okay we're all gonna die wait okay sure yeah i'm not sure and we're cooked alive end of
[1483.4s] podcast okay yeah fire what happens you see the bright light and it clears and you
[1492.5s] find yourself in a room with a large fireplace in the center of the room which keeps the chamber
[1497.6s] warm and cozy it's smoke magically vented outside about two-thirds of the skeleton of an
[1505.5s] adult dragon is laid out on the floor curled around the fireplace but before you have time
[1511.4s] to further assess a half dozen black cloaked figures move to attack you roll for initiative
[1518.6s] can we press a button real fast i don't know do we want to fight or do we want to press a button
[1523.7s] i don't know maybe it seems like this is where we're supposed to be
[1527.4s] yeah true this could be yeah okay let's fucking fight
[1533.0s] everybody's so stoked 16 16 27 oh i got a plus eight amy it's i'm always gonna be
[1542.4s] amy good one that's your seven your 16 is so good 45
[1550.2s] you did so good uh thaddeus had a five and flint was a 16
[1558.1s] i was also a 16 so you're matched with thea there so you choose who goes first
[1563.3s] you can go first oh thanks i was like uh i i didn't get to fight at all last time i know
[1570.7s] that's why i was happy you got that one i just got trampled and gored and yeah and turned to
[1576.7s] stone yeah yeah it was a really big day for me that last episode was it was really very
[1582.5s] exciting uh okay so Nulara you are up first the teleportation circle is more a half circle
[1587.9s] butted up against the wall there's the flame right in and the skeleton encircling the
[1594.7s] flame the three people are coming at you from either side of the fire the room itself is 60 feet
[1602.8s] in diameter does it look like they came through a door did they like come through
[1607.1s] from behind the fireplace or something it looks like they were in the room already
[1611.6s] okay what i know they are cloaked but are they like human human-sized yeah they're
[1617.0s] humanoid size yeah but we can't tell if they're human you can't tell if they're human
[1621.8s] okay just just that they're oids yeah uh okay well i'm gonna just try and stab one
[1628.6s] sure good idea which sword are you using i am using dragon slayer
[1636.2s] okay is my is my uge now uh that is a 16 will hit great that is
[1647.0s] my as 11 damage which is awesome which is amazing and one of them dies right
[1653.6s] no yep okay i'm going to try and try and do some more sorting and that is a 17
[1662.9s] 13 damage the one you are attacking dies tell me how you kill him or her i would like to
[1672.3s] god this is what i always do i think i'm really into decapitating but i i want to do that because i
[1677.8s] want to see what it is i want the head to roll away from the body so we can see if they're
[1681.8s] humans or if it's something else just for curiosity's sake oh yeah it's fair uh yeah you
[1687.5s] do so the head rolls towards the flames and it appears to be a human uh knowledge is power
[1694.6s] people uh donnie is going to try to oh and he does recharge so are the other two still like
[1704.6s] approaching us like can he use his breath weapon and just uh get them and not my friends
[1711.0s] yeah yeah we could set that up okay then they need to do a deck save uh one is a 16
[1718.6s] one is a six okay the six will fail so six gets full damage the other one gets half damage
[1725.8s] okay that is 10 come on that's a shitty roll uh it's 15 why did you let amy roll for you
[1735.0s] carla well i i can't i can't not use some of the dice i think oh i probably could sub out
[1740.4s] this one okay i will sub out one one of those d10s there's a lot of d10s so
[1745.7s] do you have more options uh right he gets to go again so he will do it donnie uh he did recharge
[1754.5s] so he's gonna try and crispify him up again that is 16 damage yeah donnie as donnie moves
[1764.6s] to the side and releases two quick flame breaths towards the fire in the center
[1769.8s] encompassing the two cult members they uh shriek and scream and begin circling around the room
[1777.8s] waving their arms before they drop to the ground charred to death
[1787.8s] hey there i'm your dungeon master rust more thanks for joining us for episode 54 of
[1791.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons what were we doing here and i don't think they celebrated the fact
[1796.2s] quite enough but the three of them made it out of the maze i think that they were just a bit
[1800.2s] overwhelmed with the fact that they may have forgotten what they were supposed to do next
[1804.2s] if you enjoy what we are doing and you can support us through a monthly monetary pledge
[1808.4s] we invite you to join us on Patreon where for one dollar per month you're definitely helping
[1813.5s] make this show better with every episode but also you get access to a whole backlog of
[1818.2s] monthly bonus episodes plus new ones on the 15th of every month and if you can swing it
[1823.1s] the two dollar per month level gets you access to our monthly gook hangs where we live stream
[1828.3s] a hangout with our patrons it's always a ton of fun and the more people who join the better
[1832.6s] and better those times get check out all the details at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[1838.2s] and another way you can support the show is to share a link to your favorite episode or just
[1842.6s] the show in general to social media or talk about us to your friends when you're playing
[1846.8s] a game you can also write a review on apple podcasts stitcher or wherever else you can
[1851.9s] write reviews every rating and review helps get us out in front of more and more people
[1856.8s] who will hopefully love the show as much as you do all of our social media links and more
[1861.3s] about us and the show can be found at dumbdragons.com so go check out the
[1865.4s] website and join follow or like where you can today and thanks to sirenscape for some
[1870.4s] of the amazing atmosphere make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com to bring
[1873.6s] your games to life links for everything mentioned today can be found in the description
[1877.8s] below the next episode will be out next Wednesday September 26th when a big
[1882.3s] wrinkle of a development makes everyone a tad nervous yeah it's big let's get back to this
[1889.7s] teleportivator of an episode and see if they can figure out my hourglass transporter riddle
[1895.0s] have a great week we'll talk soon
[1897.3s] do it
[1903.0s] flint no thea thea because you decided do it and you were listening and i was listening
[1910.4s] uh i'm going to run up and bite one of these culprits i forgot you were a wolf for a second
[1917.9s] like that's a weird choice it's a bold attack strategy oh shit she's tired of being a
[1925.8s] spellcaster she's part gila monster and it's the poison in her mouth it really is what gets you
[1931.7s] that's saliva yeah plus six 25 yeah that'll hit okay um two d6 plus four
[1944.5s] six damage and you have to succeed on a strength do i wait you double one did yeah
[1952.4s] that is impressive what's even with my shitty nine nine does not save and so you take all of it russ
[1962.2s] well no he gets to take he takes all of it anyway but now he's not prone yep okay uh flint
[1968.0s] now i'm gonna stroll over to that one that's not prone and just fucking hack away uh so that
[1975.8s] is a 24 to attack uh you mean i don't know if that's gonna hit a man when he's down
[1982.6s] oh might as well roll again now the 24 is the best one okay then yeah all right uh
[1990.2s] oh 17 damage so you stroll stroll strut over i don't know what do you do when you kill this
[1996.2s] guy uh yeah basically i have like the axe on my shoulder and i'm kind of whistling as i
[2001.7s] walk over there and just in one fluid motion without even stopping i just take the axe off
[2006.7s] and just bury it into his chest i imagine flint to be one of the seven dwarves like he's like
[2011.8s] hi ho hi ho it's off to murder these fuckers i go yeah and as i get my axe out of his
[2019.8s] chest cavity i turn to the other ones and start swinging at them do it
[2026.2s] uh that is a 10 so i don't think that's gonna cut it that is less than
[2031.1s] this is a solid three roll though i like that uh that's a 24 so that should be good yep all right
[2039.2s] just one one damage so i can reroll that thanks to my skills all right that's 12 damage
[2046.5s] okay i just i just want one of them to get you
[2054.2s] so you don't manage to kill that one that you're attacking so there's one uninjured
[2059.6s] and one that is is uh struck by axe and it is both of their turns thankfully for me
[2068.2s] now they could know how i feel in a battle nobody gets a turn right uh huh so i wonder
[2076.3s] if i could buy a can of axe body spray to like throw at them at some point just to
[2082.4s] go with my axe theme uh one both of them approach you flint well one has already
[2089.0s] approached you but the other one approaches you and both make an inflict wounds attack on you
[2094.9s] what does that mean oh we're about to find out what we always do
[2100.6s] sounds magic uh that is gonna be a 19 sure yep so you take on a hit you take three d10
[2111.9s] necrotic damage there they inflicted wounds they like touch you and like necrotic energy
[2119.6s] courses through your body and you take 13 20 necrotic damage okey-dokey i am going to use
[2130.7s] my uh hang on here hang on uh oh did i maybe i didn't write that one down okay yeah i'll
[2139.1s] just take the 20 that's fine okay the other one does the same through my old paper sheet and see
[2143.4s] if i miss something the other one does the same thing but only rolls an 11 so don't you
[2147.4s] guys have like things that can allow you to take less on magical damage uh no my my skill
[2154.0s] allows me to take less on non-magic damage oh and carla your magical armor right although
[2160.1s] you've been it's non-magical damage though yeah oh what but i haven't been hit yet so let's
[2164.4s] i didn't forget it just hasn't come up yet uh flame mackenzie's up and she hurls a bubble
[2168.9s] of acid at the one that missed flint and it has to make a dexterity saving throw which
[2173.4s] it does not make 3d success five eight acid damage at the unharmed one a bubble of acid
[2182.8s] spurts up and begins sizzling its cloak revealing that it's that human and his face
[2189.0s] resembles that one dude from raiders of the lost ark when he looks at the ark exactly
[2193.7s] thaddeus's turn thaddeus is gonna hang on here he's gonna bite he thought it was really cool
[2206.6s] he did like the biting attack that is true uh he's gonna use his light crossbow and shoot
[2212.6s] the one that's already hurt oh wait i guess they're both hurt now they're both he's gonna
[2216.5s] shoot acid face okay let's just shorten it let's just call him ass face ass face perfect that's
[2223.9s] 19 and then oh full damage nine damage yes adios as this guy is like trying to wipe the
[2233.0s] acid away from his hands and face um he takes a cross bolt where does he take a cross bolt
[2239.7s] i don't know does it kill him or is he still standing he killed him uh he takes it directly
[2244.5s] in the left eye right through his left as he opens his eyes he sees it coming towards him and
[2250.1s] just explodes out the back of his head and he falls to the ground does he have a moment to say
[2255.1s] anything like really mysterious like not again that would be that's my good eye and then we're
[2262.6s] like thinking about it like how many times has this guy been hit in the eye by a crossbow
[2267.1s] new laura it is your turn there is one enemy left bloodied and injured strike him down uh 22
[2277.8s] you betcha 26 that's the most that's the most possible uh so explain to me what happens when
[2285.8s] you eviscerate this like oh i think eviscerate is a good word like maybe i just like stab in
[2292.0s] and then up pull out all the guts come out do you do an i guess the guts kind of
[2301.0s] you know like zorro but like for Nulara no i got it i got it i like that i like that
[2307.6s] it's kind of fucking morbid and disgusting when you're doing it with someone's guts but
[2312.9s] Nulara is a little peevish having been in this maze and now this tower for what feels
[2318.3s] like an eternity so sure a big end guts falling everywhere i like it that happens
[2324.9s] and you're standing in uh another room of gore as you are so familiar with yep uh what do you
[2331.6s] do in this room i pat up to them and i'm like guys i bit someone um can we like look around
[2342.2s] and see if i don't know there's like something hidden under a fucking dragon bone or something
[2348.9s] is there anything interesting from the dragon that i can take like can i take a small piece
[2353.8s] of its bone like a claw i'm also gonna take an uncommon healing potion while we're standing
[2359.8s] around you take your healing potion so yeah i'm not gonna make you roll in for anything
[2363.0s] because you've got time to kind of examine this room you can see that the as you have
[2369.0s] time to examine it that you figure that the skeleton is of a black dragon you can see the
[2375.3s] bones are disconnected and placed roughly and that the creature's forelimbs are missing you
[2381.0s] also see signs that the cultists do their cooking here finding a collection of simple
[2385.8s] dishware stacked along the north wall along the uh along with sacks containing potatoes
[2391.1s] and turnips and jerky and flour and aside from the lovingly cleaned skeleton and notes
[2398.2s] this level holds nothing of real value but i mean if there's something from
[2402.7s] the dragon that you want to take aside from its forelimbs which are not there
[2406.9s] can i take a tooth i take a dragon tooth i'm not sure how i get it Nulara can you grab a
[2413.4s] dragon tooth for me i i lift up one of my paws i'm like yeah yeah you you betcha thanks
[2422.3s] i'll go desecrate this black dragon for my friend well it's not obviously not the first time it's
[2429.5s] been desecrated let's be honest clearly i i also walk over and i want to see what's because i
[2434.7s] used to you know work in the library and be a scribe that these scholarly documents might be i
[2440.1s] might notice that they might be helpful you take them and yeah i i take them and i'll let
[2446.1s] the guild and everyone else well i mean you can we'll say you take them you find something
[2450.3s] interesting and i'll determine what that is later yeah i can't read them anyway no it's probably
[2455.0s] going to be dracolich or dragon called based but i will i will come up with that information
[2460.5s] is power my friend could just be recipes could be this is where they do their cooking
[2465.0s] i'll make a note scholar notes fia and give you some proper information
[2471.7s] when you have time to actually go through them nice
[2474.9s] um okay well let's get back on ye old teleportation device and press another button what do you guys
[2484.0s] think yeah sure yep sounds good who's got a vote where you guys want to go we have left an
[2491.6s] upside down star star star all right flint it's flint's first suggestion so let's take it
[2497.7s] and i press the star a few seconds pass and the white light comes and energy courses through you
[2505.9s] and clears in an instant and you enter another chamber and it's clearly the workplace of a
[2513.1s] wizard a pair of voluminous tomes on astronomy and astrology lie open on a table a massive
[2523.7s] telescope of brass crystal and polished mahogany rests on an intricate stand in
[2529.8s] the middle of the chamber a ladder rests against one wall and an immense crystal lens
[2536.0s] is embedded in the ceiling does this room smell of rich mahogany and leather bound books
[2542.3s] you'd better believe it does matter of fact it does because i've got keen senses when it
[2546.6s] comes to smell i'm like that's that's mahogany what can i look through the telescope and see if
[2554.6s] it's i don't know pointed at something cool are the wizards here oh yeah is there any wizards
[2562.3s] in the room it's just an empty room you're like excuse me gentlemen on tertiary glance
[2567.4s] there is nobody present gonna take a little looky-loo through here in this room her little
[2573.1s] what do we say it was gonna be it's gonna be i'm gonna take a little oh shit no well i have
[2579.2s] the looky-loo but then i said you have to say i'm gonna every time you look at it did i say you
[2584.6s] have to say i'm gonna take a little looky-loo it's gonna have a little looksy i think is it
[2589.4s] isn't it god damn it i can't remember remembering all this in post yeah do my voice for me
[2595.4s] sorry i'll have your voice just saying butt stuff
[2605.5s] butt stuff butt stuff butt stuff wow he didn't even need to edit that since since there don't
[2613.1s] appear to be any wizards i want to look through the telescope in case it's pointed at like i
[2619.5s] don't know pointed directly at the sun floating floating up above this on a platform or something
[2627.4s] oh shit i'm blind now yeah you're just in one eye yeah okay it's one of those two-eyed telescopes
[2634.7s] like a microscope she actually takes her face off and she's just got like big black rings
[2639.1s] around her eyes classic prank jokesters in here um i mean it's pointed it's pointed you're
[2645.5s] looking like through the optic lens to see what it's looking at yeah it's it just appears to be
[2650.9s] pointed pointed at the stars which it's a nice clear night and you can see all the constellations
[2657.3s] whoopity-doo just kidding it's exciting probably because the sky was all fucked
[2661.4s] up when we were in that fucking maze so i'm probably delighted to see what seems like the
[2665.3s] normal sky right uh okay um what what else do you guys want to look at uh i look around i
[2675.0s] i say hey um do these tomes look interesting it's really it's really unfortunate that i can't read
[2681.9s] um what about like guys these tomes i bet these are super important uh looks like
[2688.6s] astronomy and astrology you want those i i don't know will those fit in your
[2695.2s] wolf fanny pack or whatever you're pretty big i don't know maybe not okay all right well
[2702.7s] as you guys are looking through the books you notice very quickly that it begins to get cold
[2709.8s] in the room what world do i notice that i'm covering for oh you notice a distinct
[2717.1s] temperature drop as you begin being pelted by sharp shards of ice as you are caught in an ice
[2725.9s] storm as you look up you see five cult members standing from an a high up balcony staring down
[2739.0s] at you watching you be pelted by ice we're so bad at scanning the room you guys it's not our
[2744.2s] strong point uh excuse me please please stop hailstones fill the room and cover the floor
[2752.2s] creating difficult terrain you have to take oh my god 14 bludgeoning damage as well as
[2760.9s] 12 cold damage ice to see you talk about a chilly reception
[2782.8s] music in today's episode was by Kavin mcleod of incompetent film music dot i o
[2788.4s] uh that's the episode title if you recall uh so much butt stuff yeah i don't we explain to tom
[2796.4s] that's but yeah apparently that's not the right thing no well we're waiting for a skype not to
[2802.4s] be funny kid told me a joke at the ranch today did you hear about the kidnapping
[2808.4s] no no it's okay he woke up nice that's a good joke that's sweet that's a sweet joke i like
[2817.4s] yeah all the other ones were about poop but yeah that's pretty standard yeah volume no you
[2823.7s] had it yeah you had it you had it you got it yeah uh sorry it just didn't sound right and
[2828.9s] coming up uh volume tomes Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production